Women of Sri Lanka

Well aware that my experience is limited, I have still been able to make some observations on life as a woman/young lady in Sri Lanka, which I would like to share.

I mostly talk to women or girls from two rather high income levels, and found that there is quite a gap between the two although they are not that far from eachother on other factors such as educational background.

There are the wealthy ones from higher middel class families, who have got an education, often at an university abroad, have been surrounded by staff that will see to all house duties, family would have a car - really rich ones a big 4-wheel drive with a driver - the less rich just a small family car. They work full time jobs as well as their husbands would do if they were married. Quite a western life style, just a bit more pampered.

The other group have a lesser income, but are still educated, mostly from a local university or college, are working and do not have domestic help, but their mothers are doing all the work in the house. Their farthers would be the main breadwinner gaining a middel income salary. They work - untill they get married - then they go home and take the role as their mothers has done, at least while the kids (if any) are small. They have never been abroad - apart from perhaps India.

However, an interesting difference, apart from income base, is seen when looking at their social life and marriage opportunities. First group of girls/women are the ones you see out in town, going for a drink or dinner, shopping and hanging out with friends. And, they are free to choose a husband of own choice. Not very different from girls in western countries.

The other group of girls does not go out, unless it is a family gathering. They are to be home before dark and not to be seen alone with a man. And, they are not free to choose a husband of their own, but will enter an arranged marriage, organised by their parents with help from the local astrologer.

In my office I work with girls (and mothers) from both groups, representing their different view or way of life. Arranged marriage is absolutely normal, I can have a conversation with one of the mothers and she would tell me that she soon needs to start finding a suitable husband for her daugther. In their house all work, her daugther works as well and have a bachelor degree. However, they are all is still living the traditional way with traditional roles. None of them have ever been abroad.

The other mother in my office states that she would not dream of arranging a marriage for her kids. She is however, very worried about her son (26 years old) as he is very spoiled. He has no knowledge about house work, he wants an educated girl, but he does not want her to work for other than him (in the house). She wishes to ship him off to England to gain some skills in managing himself and a home, but he is too lazy to take on the challenge, as she puts it and (and she is certainly not going to make changes in her way of pampering him, that would be cruel!).

Interesting is that both mothers are themselves in an arranged marriage, but only one (the more wealthy one) have decided to break this cultural tradition. She is by the way also the only one who have travelled to other countries and she has family in Canada.

Two of the girls in my office (23 and 27 years old) expects to go into arranged marriage. One girl once had 'an offer' to be married to a guy that was currently studying in England, she was fine with it although she had never met him, but he - having been in London for a couple of years - would not accept going into an arranged marriage, so he declined. This actually made her feel dismissed and she have now stated she will never want to be married....she herself has never been outside Sri Lanka.

The other girl might have a problem - arranged or not arranged - she might not ever be able to enter marriage. She is a lone child in her family and now her farther, as the breadwinner, has got a bad knee and will in the near future have to go on pension. This leaves her to be the breadwinner, which will probably tie her to the house. She has told me that she is not allowed to go out after dark (after 7pm that is), as it is not well seen. She cannot hang out with her friends after 7pm even at home, or someones home, as the same curfew goes for all of them - which basically leaves her social life limited to Sundays (she does not work Saturdays, but most of her friends does, so she cannot see them there either). How she will ever meet someone, even if she wanted, is a very big question and although she says she is really bored she apparently does not see a way around it.

One day at lunch this same girl said she was sick and tired of rice - well you got to understand that this is a bit chocking as everything and sometime the only thing they eat morning, lunch, evening is rice - I laughed at her and said I somehow could relate to that and asked if she never cooked something else. No, of course not - and, by the way, she never cooks - mamma does it - always! I kind of hinted that she might find it interesting and useful to learn, and she could see my point, but come-on mamma does it!

I find it interesting that traditional gender patterns are still so prevailant,  that 

arranged marriage are still the norm and is acceptable among the girls and that change only seem to come from the ones that have travelled.

The totally lack of social life inhibits you to actually met someone and fall in love, but there are also other rules of society that reinforces this pattern. For instance I learned that as a woman you are not allowed to take a loan in a bank for a house morgage or a bigger thing, so in this way you are also dependent on a man.

Also, Colombo does not offer many possiblities for hang-out places, there are no squares or promenades apart from Galle Green, that is overly growded and not a very nice place. In the areas where most people live there is nothing that invites to social behaviour, no shopping malls, green areas, hang out snack bars or so, so I guess city planning also plays a part in it...

Traditional roles are still very much dominating the relationship between boys and girls/ women and men, even if the culture seems to be about to change, although only among the more high income level girls. I have actually met a woman from a poorer family that broke the rule and found her own husband - she entered a love-marriage - as they called it, however, the prices was her mother never talking to her again not even at her farthers funeral!

Another incident that happened among our de-mining staff also shows the strong cultural patterns between men and women. Our Deminers lives in a camp during work period as often the mine sites are isolated in areas far from their homes and travel to and from work impossible. Well, being a very gender focussed organisation we have employed quite a few women as deminers and they are to live in the camp just as the men. They have their own section and toilets, but they are basically living in the same camp all of them. Within very short time we realised that the women - after having worked on the mine sites just as long as the boys - were now doing all the washing and cooking in the camp - well obviously that was a bit unfair and we had to put a stop to it to safe guard the womens rigth to have a break. There is now a camp manager who ensures us that this is not happening anymore and we have conducted gender awareness courses for all staff..

The incident just shows that even if the women are strong and working on equal terms as the men in many places there are still cultural norms that seem not to be questioned. The girls did not complain, it was us that insisted that is was not correct to take advantage of the female staff in this manner.

I am brought up with having to make my own choices and that arranged marriage and set futures are really bad for you - restricts your freedom of choice. But, for many girls here, marriage presents them the opportunity to leave their parents place and get their own home. To perhaps enter a social circle and meet some other people than the family. So I understand the girls in my office does not object against it.

However, I am still so much influenced by my own cultural inheritage that I hope for the girls and boys that they will be able to break some of the gender roles that restricts them in finding love on their own and to find their own recipe for what they like.  And there is great hope for this, the women here are really strong and more and more are having high positions in society, they just need to have a bit more guts and creativity in how to get about things. Perhaps a little more exposure to other cultures and way of life would inspire them to start cooking something else?

Anodja

Suhashi, Ridma and Shamila

Exploring Jaffna

Going to the northern part of the country is not very easy. First you need a security clearance (this is only if you are not Srilankan) which you get through the Ministry of Defence and next is actually getting there. There is only one road that goes all the way from north of Colombo to Jaffna, this is the A9 road - and it is not a highway, but an ordinary two lane road and since it is more or less the only road going north it is being used by everybody; trucks loaded with products of all kinds, buses which drives like maniacs putting all our lives at risk, and then there are the Tuktuks, minibuses, ordinary cars, motorbikes, bicycles, tractors etc....so the road is really really busy.

There is the option of going by air, I did it once and it was great. It goes from Colombo to Jaffna and takes about 1 hour. However, its a very small military plane, seating about 18 and they only fly once every second day, which means the flights are quit often booked. And so it was when we were planning to go.



First class, and it did get crowded



As none of us are very fond of going in a car in this country, and since Kåre is a train-lover we decided to go to Vavuniya by train (doesn't go further north), stay overnight and then go with one of the land cruisers to Jaffna visiting some minefields on the way. This was one of my field trips (about every three months I go and do a monitoring visit) so I was meant to work, I just had the opportunity to take Kåre along as my parents were in town and able to babysit the kids. Distance from Colombo to first stop Vavuniya is about 260 km which will take you around 6-7 hours (!), then its another 150 km from Vavuniya to Jaffna which will take you about 3-4 hours in a Land cruiser, so we needed at least 5 days if somethings else than being on the road was going to happen.

Brief history of the northern region

Sri Lanka's 30 years of internal conflict only ended on 19th May 2009 with the death of the Tamil Tiger (LTTE) Leader (and his whole family). The Sri Lankan Army had pushed the entire population into a very little area in the final months of the conflict, humanitarian corridors were being provided for the civilians to escape from the bombings, although no safety could be ensured as the LTTE also started to shoot - and use suicide bombers among the fleeing people - in order to prevent the civilians to flee, as the civilians were used a shields against the Sri Lankan army. Never the less close to 300,000 managed to escape and were internalised in so-called well-fare camps, which for out standers resembled more a prison camp, as the people were not able to move freely out of the camps.

The Tamil population had not felt their rights were secured since the British left the country, they were not represented in government and were struggling to be heard and respected. Following a few violent incidents the Tamil elite started mobilising themselves to fight for their rigths with the aim of gaining independence for the area which historically were dominating by Tamils - the north and the east. However, this fight developed over the years and became more and more violent. Jaffna which is the biggest town in the top north of the country was home for the Tamil elite and a prosperous and well functioning town with a large harbour,  an university and a very famous library. It is very close to India which also holds a large Tamil population and a route for receiving supplies during the conflict. Hence, the town was an important military target for both parts and after being back and forth for some time in 2006 it felt into the hands of the Sri Lankan army forcing the LTTE more south. The new 'capital' for LTTE became Kilinochchi which is situated on the A9 somewhere mid between Jaffna and Vavuniya.

Vavuniya was the most northern town held by the Singalese - anything between Jaffna and Vavuniya was LTTE held land. Occasional Colombo was involved in the conflict with suicide bombers flying over the town throwing their bombs or crashing their airplanes into buildings and several Presidents have lost their lives or been wounded by the LTTE (incl some prominent people in India like Mahinda Gandhi).  And although it was a violent conflict - most of it took place in the northern and eastern part of the country, while the central and southern parts were living more or less normal lives.

As the conflict ended in May 2009 the Singalese Army estimated that there would be around 1.6 mill mines laid in the northern areas. The whole area was deserted as all civilians were in the camps in Vavuniya and the remaining LTTE fighters were either dead or in army held prisons (where they still are). Nobody knows how many lives were lost during the conflict and there are still no public records of anything - which has caused the UN to start and investigation into war-crimes - but this is a total different story. The LTTE were famous for enrolling all boys and able girls into their army and it is told that in the final years they simply went to the villagers and forcibly picked up the kids to take them for army training. Nobody could escape the LTTE and the villagers had not much choice than obeying. This said, there was also a strong support for the cause of the LTTE among most Tamils as they could not see how they would ever be able to live in this country on equal terms with the Sinhalese.

I came first time to the north in late Autumn 2009. At this time it was still absolutely deserted. It was like driving through one ghost town after the other - there were not one building that wasn't fully or partly destroyed, every roof, every door and windows has as a minimum been removed - possibly for use in bunkers and shields. Most houses had marks of bullets and explosions, even the palm trees were only burned sticks with no tops. In some areas the houses had been abandoned for more than 1-2 years and was therefore totally overgrown with jungle. There were check points everywhere, but most military personnel we met were relaxed and gave us no problems. The Government at this point were inviting mine clearance organisations to enter the areas in order to clear it and enable them to release the refugees. However, we were the only ones allowed in, no other humanitarian agencies were allowed access, and there were also areas (and still is )which were marked as high security zones where we were not allowed in.



Stick in the middle is where
we found a mine



Both the Sri Lankan Army and the LTTE had had their share of defence lines with large amount of mines placed in front. The army lines are more or less structured and we have got some information to where they are, but 30 years is a long time and the defense lines have repeatedly moved up and down and the military personnel have rotated without much of a handover, which means much intelligence on the whereabouts of the mines have gone lost. The LTTE had their own factory making the mines and a totally different strategy in laying them. We have not been able to get any information directly from the LTTE as the remaining soldiers are under strict confinement, which means we only rely on what the military can tell us. We try to assess the areas for evidence of battle or strategically importance.

Furthermore, the LTTE never really followed a pattern when placing the mines, which means they are most often scattered around randomly - perhaps to confuse the enemy or perhaps because they were in a hurry. This makes it very time consuming to clear and we spend lots of time just locating the mine lines before we can start actually clearing them.




Returned family living next to the minefield,
red sign in the background
shows where the mine field starts



In December 2009 - 7 months after the end of the conflict, the government - strongly pushed by international organisations - began to release the refugees from the camp and slowly people started to return. Unfortunately it was not all for the good as we were not finished (or nowhere near finished) clearing the mines. But the call for releasing the people was strong and so they were. Problem now was only that they could not go to their houses nor their agricultural fields as many of these were mined and/or destroyed so alternatively they received a tent and some food aid and settled in a nearby area. We were now working with people surrounding the mine sites endangering them and especially their children. Luckily until now, there has only been very few incidents with mines or explosives and mostly this is due to people burning garbage and hitting a mine. However, during 2010 the area became inhabited - apart from a few high security zones - and people are getting on with re-building their lives with help from international aid organisation. And it is fantastic to see how much it changes for every time I go there. Now there are people every where and many intermistic small shops, the agricultural areas are being cultivated and a constant convoy of trucks with products are going up and down the A9. They have really impressed me how they have been able to just pick themselves up and start over again once more, it is really mind blowing that they have this strength inside them to keep going namely because this is not the first time they had to start all over again - just think of the Tsunami in 2004 - and all the times they had to flee their homes because it was suddenly turned into a battlefield.

Mines and unexploded bombs are still the main issue for development. It is unfortunately a very slow process and we estimate it will take at least another 3 years to get the most important areas cleared and after that there are easily another 6-8 years of clearance of the more remote areas. There are still about 25,000 people living in the camps as their homes are in the high security zones, and it is estimated that close to 100,000 are living with host families or in social institutions (community halls etc) or in tents.

We have about 430 de-miners working for us and we are the second biggest mine action organisation in the country and still we could use a lot more if we want to reach the goal of clearance in 3 years.

Jaffna, February 2011

Getting back to my travel story :) Kåre and I took off with the train Sunday at 4pm and arrived after much bouncing around and almost deaf at about 10.30pm. We had a hotel room in Vavuniya best hotel called Nelly Star and know as Nelly no Star. We got the VIP room which means we had warm water. Now you knew you were in the field. the Land cruiser and driver (none of us never drives in Sri Lanka) picked us up in the morning and after a brief visit to the office we took off to Jaffna with a few mine site stop on the way.

Kåre got to see our work and the conditions the de-miners work in. Demining is not an easy task not so much because it is dangerous, it is the jungle and the heat that makes it tough. The Deminers are wearing protection clothes which is heavy - almost like a bulletproof jacket going down to your knees, army boots and visors - with more than 30 degrees heat it is hard to breathe under the visor and just hard to do anything wearing that gear.

We stopped for lunch at a new established roadside restaurant, which was very modern although horrible and it turned out it belonged to one of the Presidents brothers or so. One of the big problems up there is now that many of the power full Sinhalese and most of the army guys are sitting on most of the business, especially the restaurants or pit stops on the way. The army guys are actually fine, they do it in their 'spare' time and the money the earn goes to improve their own situation in the camps, which is very much needed. They are young boys with lots of initiative and they actually make good food. Problem is that it ruins the natural competition as the population actually need to make more than a small profit but also earn a living.

We drove through Kilinochchi, which is now a busy town, although still most of the houses are without a roof. Through Elephant Pass (very famous check point to Jaffna district) after this check point you drive through areas which have taken alot of battle until you eventually end up in Jaffna town.

Describing Jaffna is not so easy, its a spread out large village, not sure how many actually lives there. There are no high rises or anything modern, but it is nice. The houses are large, a little worn down, but you get the feeling of a prosperous town that got stuck in time 30 years ago. Many of the cars you see are first generation cars - old Morris etc. but most people are cycling. Roads are worn out and narrow and Kåre said it reminded him of a large summer house area in Denmark. You have the feel of the ocean all the time as it is sandy and flat so perhaps this makes it feel like a summer house area. Apart from seeing some more

minefields we got to do a little sigh seeing and saw the famous Nallur temple, the Library and the old fort which they are now trying to restore 



Nallur Temple (Hindu temple)





Jaffna Fort





Jaffna Library

 

New bridge on old road

Wednesday morning we already had to go back to Vavuniya to cacth the train on Thursday morning (Kåre did not want to miss out on his football team Thursday afternoon) and the kids wanted us home. Instead of going the same way back we tried our luck and went over the newly opened bridge cutting off a corner (and Elephant Pass) leading into Kilinochchi from the west. We were not sure we were allowed to go this way as the road had just been opened and we only had security clearance to go on the A9, but they didn't seem to care at the check point so off we went. And I am glad we did, we saw some of the most recently opened areas - there were not alot of people - we even chased a snake of the road which was lying there having its afternoon nap. Again it was a little like entering no-mans land.



Girls school in Jaffna



All in all it was really interesting this trip as I could see a huge development since I had been up there in September and I also got the chance to play tourist a little and not all work all day :) What really stroked us was the amount of schools that had been erected. Every town we came to, even if people were living in tents or destroyed houses, the newest building in town was the school. I think it is so positive that the really priorities getting their children in school - it is the way forward and I can only hope that adequate teaching is available to these kids. The Tamils are actually famous for their interest in schooling and we actually accredit this to the fact that there are reasonable few mine accidents in the north - people understands the danger and how to behave safely.

There is still a long way to go and the need for humanitarian aid is still prevailing, but it is moving forward and I cannot wait to go there in a few months time and see more development and hopefully fewer tents.

A Day in Delhi

Being in Sri Lanka I always thought of India as their Big Brother, but now I found that yes it is big, but no it is not a brother - although siblings can turn out to be very different :=) However, Delhi is chaos, crowded and colorful a bit like Sri Lanka just much more. Food is better, it is cheaper (!) and the weather is much colder (I actually had socks on)...

We arrived late Wednesday and got, very easily and organized, a metered taxi from the airport, no hustle, no discussion on fare prices and the taxi was clean and nice, however, one strange thing - as all taxi seems to be running on gas (as well as the busses) there is not much space in the trunk, which is not so smart when you taking costumers from an airport? We had very little, only planning to be in Delhi for two days so it was not an issue for us.

So how was it? Well it was big, smelly, dirty, interesting, surprisingly lots of parks (looked like some houses had been bulldozed to make space and I wonder where the people living in those houses were now?) and roads were good, although crowded with everything you can image on two-four wheels. Here all Tuk-Tuks (three-wheelers) were on meter and all had the same colors, again very organized although their driving was not so organized. Buses were modern type of busses (I guess Sri Lanka inherit the old ones!) and they were not half as scary as the ones we have here. And in between it all there are thousands of motorbikes squeezing in from all over, from all sides, and next to them you get the cycle trishaws which seems to be the main transportation means for most school kids - easily taking 10 small ones on one.....



Well as you might have guessed by now, I did spend a lot of time on the roads trying to see as much as possible in a day. Via the hotel I had rented a taxi for 8 hours for 1100 INR (about 88 DKK) and I managed to see: the Lotus Temple (new religious centre - India seems to need yet another religion (!) and this one is smart, it combines all the religions so everyone is welcome to come and pray in the temple) beautiful place I thought. Apparently there are now several of these scattered around India.

The mosque - and old one (1600 something) where you have to walk through a lot of stalls selling everything and crowded by beggars and strange looking individuals making feel a little uncomfortable being alone with my handbag!






After that I was to take a cycle trishaw to the Red Fort - very scaring experience and totally involuntarily I only did it because I had no clue where I was and did not know we were about to go on the big highway.....however, I survive obviously and saw the fort which I did not think was that interesting. More interesting was the tourist group arriving with me, from India but obviously a very different part of India, none of them were wearing shoes and all had a lot of jewelry on ankles and noses, colorful crowd I must say.


Last stop was at the bazar where I had bought a Saree (must do if in India) they had taken measures for the top part yesterday when I together with my colleagues went on a shopping spree - it is actually possible to get a suit made in 6 hours if you wish, tailored to fit. Well I needed to pick my Saree up and it fitted perfectly. So now I am the proud owner of a greenish, gold ish, orange ish Saree that I have no clue how to wear. Hoping for my Sri Lankan friends to teach me!



 

Sunday at the beach

Another very warm day in Colombo, after being to Dehli for two days I realize that this is a very warm country and it is only getting warmer from now on and the next many months. We had arranged to meet some of our good friends at the beach in Mt Lavinia. The beach is a new discovery from our side, I am still puzzled that I have lived in Colombo for one and half year without seeing this beautiful spot; its clean white sand, water is not too rough and a very nice little restaurant that will serve you a really nice meal and cold drinks, there are hardly any hustlers and often not that many people, thats mostly if you come early, around five pm lot of locals are arriving making it a buzzling place with people playing volley or just enjoying the water. Today it was a bit more crowded probably because its a Sunday. The water was fantastic, with waves just big enough for Jacob to cope and whirl around in without risking his life. The beach is a must see if you are in Colombo, and actually one of the best I have seen!

To get there you have to park and walk over the railway tracks which runs just behind the Voile Blanche restaurant, there is off course no organized crossing so like everyone else we keep an eye on possible trains coming before we cross, I often wonder how our kids will manage in the western countries were everything is so regulated and safety precautions are extreme in some instances. Walking on train tracks is a normal thing to do here and I guess most of the time more safe than trying to walk along the roads considering the crazy driving you get here.

After the beach we had decided to go for the monthly jazz event at the rugby club, but after the long and very warm day at the beach we changed our minds and are staying home (meaning after falling asleep on the patio we could not be bothered). Jacob is cooling down with a game of ball on the Wii and Ditte took of with our neighbors daughter for a hangout at the Galle Face and I decided to try to write a blog - this means this is my first blog, inspired by another good friend of mine here in Sri Lanka who also likes writing about the many things life brings you when you are posted away from home on a tropical island like Sri Lanka.

I have for a long time felt bad that I did not try to capture the moments, to share them with my friends and safe them for my own recollection of the time we were here and I see blogging as an excellent opportunity to get it done. I decided to do it in English in order to share it with the extended circle of friends - however as most of you know it is not my native language so forgive my sometime strange compositions or bad language, I will do my best to make it as readable as possible :)

Many more blogs are on the way, please read what you like it is absolutely voluntarily.
Big hugs from Camilla